It’s still Mother’s Day. On this special day when you have outlived your child, it is still your day. You are still mama, mom, mum, mommy and you always will be. You are the one who aches for your baby, your child. You know all the little details of your baby. Your arms are empty but it is still Mother’s Day. Your heart is broken but it is still Mother’s Day. No one can explain why you have more days to live than your child was given. Just because you long for them doesn’t mean you are not to be celebrated today. It is still Mother’s Day. You deserve the title, mother.…
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Waiting…And Waiting…
I do not wait well. I get impatient in traffic and often try to find a less crowded route. While waiting in line at the post office, I configure new systems for better efficiency in my head. Yet, over and over again, I find myself in a season of waiting. I finally became a bride at the age of thirty-four which frankly is considered an ancient marrying age for someone born and raised in the south. I joke with my husband that he did a good job hiding from me for a decade. Now that I have this handsome partner in life, I can remember those single years with rose-colored glasses. I think…
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Run YOUR Race
Hebrews 12:1 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” When I lived in New York, I became a runner. A real runner. I actually bought like real runner shoes, ran with friends, and even ran some races. All this is quite amazing if you know my story of struggling with my weight. In fact, when I started running, I couldn’t run for thirty seconds without stopping. I share this because this couch potato became a runner and I even ended up…
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How to Fund Your Adoption
If you have looked into adoption, you know the costs can add up quickly and can overwhelm almost any family’s budget. There are a lot of factors that contribute to the fees associated with adoption, but the total can be upwards of $50,000. Even families who adopt through the foster care system will have some financial decisions to consider. With private adoption, the agency fees cover everything from social workers, counseling, birth mother’s housing, medical expenses, lawyers, child’s medical needs, home study, federal fingerprinting, required adoption education, CPR Classes, travel out of state or country, etc. We are in the process of adopting an infant domestically. We chose our agency…
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What Should I Read in 2019?
I have always loved to read and I enjoy suggestions from good friends. I thought I’d share a few of favorite books that you might want to consider for your reading list this year. Women’s Group or Book Club If you are looking for something for a women’s group or book club, I would suggest Strong Women, Soft Hearts and Better Than My Dreams by seasoned counselor, Paula Rhinehart. Strong Women will allow you to look at different areas of your life like trust, vulnerability, and control. Better Than My Dreams talks about how life often doesn’t go how we thought but that God’s good plans just might surprise you…
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To Those Hurting This Christmas
I love traditions. As a young family, we are still deciding on traditions to build into the Christmas season. So far the last two years, we put up our Christmas tree the weekend after Thanksgiving and then drove around our town with hot chocolate while looking at the Christmas lights. While I love to build memories with my family, I am always juggling the big emotions of Christmas fun with the heavy emotions as a mom of loss. It is impossible not to notice my son missing from each and every festivity and family photo. He is part of me and yet he is not here. Just today as I…
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Signs of Grief
As we walked out of our temporary apartment just one mile from the children’s hospital, all I could do was marvel the happenings of normal life around me. We had rented this particular place to be as close to our son as possible. My husband and I were making our way once again to the cardiac intensive care unit but this walk was different from all the previous walks on this same route. We had lost our precious boy the day before to heart disease. I turned toward my husband and said, “They have no idea what we’ve just been through,” referring to the family on the sidewalk near us. Our routine walk to the hospital continued and it included going through…
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Ten Things You Can Do for a Family with a Child in the Hospital
What can I do for a mom whose child has been hospitalized? Cultural norms are often spelled out for us. When your close friend gets married, you might help with a bridal shower. When the time comes and that same friend has a baby, you may take a meal over to the family. When someone you care about loses a loved one, you mail a bereavement card to offer your condolences. But, there are some scenarios where you may feel paralyzed and unsure how to be most helpful to a friend in need. When a family ends up in the hospital with a child, their life is often in crisis mode. They likely can’t even articulate…
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From Loss to Adoption
“Our oldest was only nine months old when we found out that our second son, Hudson, was on the way. We were surprised in the best of ways. We started thinking about how close our boys would be growing up together and the money we could save with the hand-me-downs and shared toys. Everything changes when you find out you are pregnant. You start thinking in timelines and planning based on the arrival of this incredible bundle of joy. But, about halfway through my pregnancy, we found out that Hudson had a severe congenital heart defect called hypoplastic left heart syndrome. A few months after that diagnosis, we were told…
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A Ministry I Never Wanted
When I was in college, I spent many hours listening to talks and reading books about giving my all for Jesus. As I listened to seasoned missionaries like Dr. Helen Roseveare and passionate pastors like Dr. John Piper, I was challenged to consider my comfort zone and flee from it for fear of passivity in the urgent call of Christ. I was deeply in love with Jesus because He had pursued me for many years as ran with all my might away from my church upbringing. As my heart softened to Jesus in college, I began to desire to live a life that honored Him. I started considering where God would use me. I…
