“No soldier in active service entangles himself in the affairs of everyday life, so that he may please the one who enlisted him as a soldier.” II Timothy 2:4 As I little girl of a War Veteran, I thought it was completely normal to spend a weekend night with our whole family looking at slides from Viet Nam. My dad loves to tell stories, and he almost always includes something from his time at war. He’s told me stories of bridges being blown to pieces, villages set on fire, sleeping under his truck in the mud and rain, and sadly of his buddies not making it home. My dad witnessed firsthand…
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Why I Created the Heart Mom Journal
I spent nine months in the hospital with our strong heart warrior. During this time, my emotions were big and out of control and sometimes even scary. Honestly, the big feelings came as I sat in my OBGYN’s office and heard the words, “We only see two chambers of his heart.” Months later, grief took up residency in my heart when our precious boy passed away. My heart shattered, and I lived in the pit of despair for quite a long time. There are a few things that helped me as a heart mom and as a child loss mom. One is the community of other moms who had gone…
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God is in the Waiting
I do not wait well. I get impatient in traffic and often try to find a less crowded route. While waiting in line at the post office, I configure new systems for better efficiency in my head. Yet, over and over again, I find myself in a season of waiting. I finally became a bride at the age of thirty-four, which frankly is considered an ancient marrying age for someone born and raised in the south. I joke with my husband that he did a good job of hiding from me for a decade. Now that I have this handsome partner in life, I can remember those single years with rose-colored…
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I HATED GOD
I feel incredibly vulnerable sharing this part of my heart but I know I am not the only Christian who has wrestled with loving God in the midst of despair. Here’s part of my story. As I stood on a bridge in Philadelphia, I looked down at the water and wept loudly. People were all around me as they were walking to work. It was a normal day for them. I called my pastor friend and somehow got the words out of my mouth. They came out without hesitation. “I hate Him. I HATE GOD!” I sobbed. I was realizing that my son was dying. I saw it in the doctor’s eyes as I ran…
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Now We See Dimly
“For now, we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”I Corinthians 13:12 When faced with some of life’s hardest questions, we know that we can turn to God’s Word for answers and solace. The Bible tells us of God’s unchanging character. He is good, sovereign, loving, just, and never grows tired. But what are we to do when we don’t find clear answers to our heartaches or sufferings in life? What do we tell ourselves or others who may be in pain? As a mom of child loss, I have asked…
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Waiting…And Waiting…
I do not wait well. I get impatient in traffic and often try to find a less crowded route. While waiting in line at the post office, I configure new systems for better efficiency in my head. Yet, over and over again, I find myself in a season of waiting. I finally became a bride at the age of thirty-four which frankly is considered an ancient marrying age for someone born and raised in the south. I joke with my husband that he did a good job hiding from me for a decade. Now that I have this handsome partner in life, I can remember those single years with rose-colored glasses. I think…
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Run YOUR Race
Hebrews 12:1 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” When I lived in New York, I became a runner. A real runner. I actually bought like real runner shoes, ran with friends, and even ran some races. All this is quite amazing if you know my story of struggling with my weight. In fact, when I started running, I couldn’t run for thirty seconds without stopping. I share this because this couch potato became a runner and I even ended up…
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A Ministry I Never Wanted
When I was in college, I spent many hours listening to talks and reading books about giving my all for Jesus. As I listened to seasoned missionaries like Dr. Helen Roseveare and passionate pastors like Dr. John Piper, I was challenged to consider my comfort zone and flee from it for fear of passivity in the urgent call of Christ. I was deeply in love with Jesus because He had pursued me for many years as ran with all my might away from my church upbringing. As my heart softened to Jesus in college, I began to desire to live a life that honored Him. I started considering where God would use me. I…
