It is kind of crazy to think about it now but we talked about adoption while we were dating. In fact, Corey wanted to adopt before I knew him and I wanted to adopt long before we met. As of today, we have been with our agency and actively waiting to adopt an infant for 689 days.
We have experienced three failed adoptions during our wait which means that a potential birth mom chose us after looking at different family profiles. We agreed to be matched with her and then we waited for the baby to be born. At the birth, each of these mothers changed her mind and decided to parent.
I understand the tremendous bond of mom and baby because of how I feel about my two boys. I certainly do not blame these brave women for choosing to parent. But it does mean that we have had a crib set up and ready for well over a year. It means that I’ve washed and prepared baby clothes three times. We’ve made videos to surprise the grandparents all for it to be undone. It means I’ve bought a special Christmas outfit for a baby to then donate it when the adoption falls apart. It means I’ve applied and reapplied (four times now!) to adoptions grants that require a family to be matched to a specific child to be considered.
I realized this week that as we talk about our future, the phrase, “IF this adoption happens,” is said several times a day. We are in the midst of a lot transition on top of the adoption including job changes, moving across the country, and two other bigger projects that I’m currently working on (Tease, Tease. More info about these soon).
We are currently matched to adopt a sweet baby in the coming months but we are very aware that in just a moment it also could not happen. So, with every breath, we say, “If this adoption happens.”
“We will be able to visit this fall IF this adoption happens.” “IF this adoption happens, then we will be ready to move forward with buying a house.” “I should go ahead with the trip to New York IF this adoption is going to happen.”
So, we will keep living life and making plans. We will wash the baby clothes again and orient every detail as if we are due to have a newborn join our family. We will pray for this baby and the first family. We will fall in love again. This baby will be in our hearts and minds.
We will be ready with open hearts IF this adoption happens (and even if it doesn’t).
And we can’t wait to share our precious baby with YOU…
IF this adoption happens.
What is your story? Are you interested in adoption? Did you adopt? Do you hope to adopt? Has your family been connected to adoption in any way? What questions do you have about adoption?
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