“No soldier in active service entangles himself in the affairs of everyday life, so that he may please the one who enlisted him as a soldier.” II Timothy 2:4 As I little girl of a War Veteran, I thought it was completely normal to spend a weekend night with our whole family looking at slides from Viet Nam. My dad loves to tell stories, and he almost always includes something from his time at war. He’s told me stories of bridges being blown to pieces, villages set on fire, sleeping under his truck in the mud and rain, and sadly of his buddies not making it home. My dad witnessed firsthand…
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Why I Created the Heart Mom Journal
I spent nine months in the hospital with our strong heart warrior. During this time, my emotions were big and out of control and sometimes even scary. Honestly, the big feelings came as I sat in my OBGYN’s office and heard the words, “We only see two chambers of his heart.” Months later, grief took up residency in my heart when our precious boy passed away. My heart shattered, and I lived in the pit of despair for quite a long time. There are a few things that helped me as a heart mom and as a child loss mom. One is the community of other moms who had gone…
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God is in the Waiting
I do not wait well. I get impatient in traffic and often try to find a less crowded route. While waiting in line at the post office, I configure new systems for better efficiency in my head. Yet, over and over again, I find myself in a season of waiting. I finally became a bride at the age of thirty-four, which frankly is considered an ancient marrying age for someone born and raised in the south. I joke with my husband that he did a good job of hiding from me for a decade. Now that I have this handsome partner in life, I can remember those single years with rose-colored…
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Connecting Our Children to Faith
As a mom, I have many things I desire for my children. I want them to have deep roots in our family life. I want them to be self-aware, to find something they love to do, to have true friends, to marry one day, and to have their own children. But, my main desire is for my children to have faith. Why is it important to connect our children to faith? It has taken me many years to realize that much of who I am today comes from a spiritual connection beyond myself. Faith affects my integrity, my work ethic, how I think of others, where I spend my time,…
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How Can I Help My Grieving Friend at Christmas?
The Christmas season comes with many fond memories and special traditions. Those affected by the loss of a loved one will need extra support as they face the holidays. It is so painful to embrace new traditions and experience old ones without those we love. It is also difficult to watch a friend or family member go through these waves of grief while also navigating the festivities of Christmas. You want to communicate that you love your friend and that you care about this significant loss. But how can you practically help a grieving friend face the holiday season? Over the last few years, I have learned a few simple…
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I HATED GOD
I feel incredibly vulnerable sharing this part of my heart but I know I am not the only Christian who has wrestled with loving God in the midst of despair. Here’s part of my story. As I stood on a bridge in Philadelphia, I looked down at the water and wept loudly. People were all around me as they were walking to work. It was a normal day for them. I called my pastor friend and somehow got the words out of my mouth. They came out without hesitation. “I hate Him. I HATE GOD!” I sobbed. I was realizing that my son was dying. I saw it in the doctor’s eyes as I ran…
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Now We See Dimly
“For now, we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”I Corinthians 13:12 When faced with some of life’s hardest questions, we know that we can turn to God’s Word for answers and solace. The Bible tells us of God’s unchanging character. He is good, sovereign, loving, just, and never grows tired. But what are we to do when we don’t find clear answers to our heartaches or sufferings in life? What do we tell ourselves or others who may be in pain? As a mom of child loss, I have asked…
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Ten Things To Do for Families with Children in the Hospital
After spending nine months at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia with our precious Hudson, we wanted to share a few things that helped us along the way. Our friends and family did these things so well and we are forever grateful. Hopefully, this list will help you if you find yourself with friends in this horrible situation. 1. Pray: the family is exhausted, desperate and at the end of their rope. They have little to no energy to pray for themselves so pray for them often and let them know that you are praying. Add the family to prayer emails at your church. If possible, keep up to date with the current…
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If This Adoption Happens
It is kind of crazy to think about it now but we talked about adoption while we were dating. In fact, Corey wanted to adopt before I knew him and I wanted to adopt long before we met. As of today, we have been with our agency and actively waiting to adopt an infant for 689 days. We have experienced three failed adoptions during our wait which means that a potential birth mom chose us after looking at different family profiles. We agreed to be matched with her and then we waited for the baby to be born. At the birth, each of these mothers changed her mind and decided…
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It’s STILL Mother’s Day
It’s still Mother’s Day. On this special day when you have outlived your child, it is still your day. You are still mama, mom, mum, mommy and you always will be. You are the one who aches for your baby, your child. You know all the little details of your baby. Your arms are empty but it is still Mother’s Day. Your heart is broken but it is still Mother’s Day. No one can explain why you have more days to live than your child was given. Just because you long for them doesn’t mean you are not to be celebrated today. It is still Mother’s Day. You deserve the title, mother.…
