I spent nine months in the hospital with our strong heart warrior. During this time, my emotions were big and out of control and sometimes even scary.
Honestly, the big feelings came as I sat in my OBGYN’s office and heard the words, “We only see two chambers of his heart.”
Months later, grief took up residency in my heart when our precious boy passed away. My heart shattered, and I lived in the pit of despair for quite a long time.
There are a few things that helped me as a heart mom and as a child loss mom. One is the community of other moms who had gone before me. They could speak to me about what surgery would be like for my boy.
They were examples to me and showed me how to grieve authentically while also continuing to be a mama to my big boy at home. They let me weep, rage, and wonder.
They climbed down in the pit and gently showed me the way out.
The second thing that has helped me as a heart mom is writing. I’ve kept a journal on and off my whole life, and I was busting with too much inside of me. Writing about my pregnancy, doctor’s appointments, and the hard news helped the information swirling in my head have somewhere to land.
When my warrior went to heaven, I needed somewhere to let all the ugly grief out. The grief that isn’t tidy or buttoned up or already processed.
Where do you put all that really ugly grief? The stuff that might scare you sometimes. Where can you pray authentically and pour out all the confusion, fear, and anger? Where can you beg God to intervene and show up?
I designed and created the HEART MOM JOURNAL for moms who are processing a big diagnosis with long names and the doctor’s scribble sketch of your child’s heart on a random piece of paper.
This HEART MOM JOURNAL is for the mama sitting for hours waiting to hear their son or daughter came through an all-day surgery.
This HEART MOM JOURNAL is for the mom who has forgotten how brave, strong, and loving they are in the midst of all the really hard stuff. The mom who needs a place to write down all of her self-doubt and be reminded who she really is.
I created this journal specifically for moms of children with congenital heart disease. It is a place to be raw and real. A place just for you.
It is a great gift for a heart mom whether she is inpatient with her heart warrior, home daily caring for their son or daughter, or swimming through the consuming waves of child loss.
Heart mama, you are not alone. You are seen. Your feelings are valid. You are so brave and you are so strong.
Use this journal to reflect what you are feeling, empty your brain and make lists of things you need to do, sketch, write poems or prayers, record memories or special days.
This HEART MOM JOURNAL is for you!
If you are looking for a gift carefully designed for a heart mom, this is it! Plus, a portion of the proceeds will go to Hudson’s Heart and will help families inpatient at Christmas.
So, why did I create this HEART MOM JOURNAL?
I did it for you, strong mama. Your child is not the only warrior in the story.
We are so glad he is doing well!
